November is National Adoption Month and I L.O.V.E. adoption so I thought I'd post some of my feelings. I plan to do some sort of an adoption post each day for the rest of the month. Some may be funny, some may be sad, but all of them will be about the greatest miracle in my life. Hope you don't mind.
We have 2 incredible little ones and I am so grateful every single minute of every single day to be their mom. But I don't feel like our family is done. It's funny because often when I run unto people and they ask how many kids I have and I tell them 2, they always say stuff like, "Oh that is perfect a boy and a girl." And it is perfect. I love them and they bring us so much joy. But we don't feel complete. Sometimes I ache inside just wondering if I will ever feel like we are complete. Is this just how women with infertility feel until the eternities, when we will have all the children we could dream of? Or will there come a time when I will know that for now, my family here is complete and I will feel that peace? Do women that don't struggle with infertility know when they are done? Do they just feel done because they get to choose and actually have some control over it? Just some questions I have.
Here's another question that I've been wondering about. Why is adoption so expensive? I got an email last night from an agency that has a healthy baby boy ready to pick up today. Why don't I just have the $32,000 to go pick that baby up. I mean really, who just has that kind of money laying around?
I am so grateful for LDS Family Services. They are so super affordable in comparison to most other agencies. We are very blessed to have been able to adopt our two through them. They have been great to work with and great to our birth moms. Boy are we lucky to be members of the church.
We've been approved through LDS again since early this year. We pray each day (many times a day) that another birth mother will be led to us, and that we will be the answer to one another's prayers. That we will welcome another baby (or two or three!) into our home and family. It is such a blessing to know that our Father in Heaven has a plan for us, and for our family. I know He is aware of me, of my children of the sweet birth parents. I am so grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and the peace that I have had throughout our struggle with infertility. I do not believe that I could do this alone.
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4 comments:
Yeah for adoption! It's perfect that national adoption month is in the same month that we celebrate being thankful. I don't have all the answers to your questions- when I was struggling with infertility I used to wonder why 13-year-old crack heads could get pregnant. We probably won't have all our questions answered in this life and I've learned that my time frame and the Lords are not always the same. I can say that looking back I see God's hand guiding me and Jim and that things worked out the way they were supposed to, even if I couldn't see it at the time. I sure love you and hope you get more babies soon!
I know what you mean about the expense. It is like they just sell the baby to the highest bidder... so sad. If you decide you want to expand to other sources besides LDS, let me know. The attorney we worked with is great!
I have not struggled with infertility, but have the same not-feeling-like-we're-done struggle all the time. I think it is really important for me to not have more children than I can realistically do a GREAT job raising and there are a lot of other things I have to consider such as my spouse and one child (so far) having diabetes and the toll that takes on everyone in the family sometimes. Also I have to consider my own health in pregnancy since it has not been very promising. I am thankful to have 3 great children and we are totally back and forth daily on whether it is safe to have another one or whether the risk is worth it.... I hope you get another baby soon! You are such a wonderful mom.
Seeing infertility effect so many people that I love, I have to say that the Lord is very incolved in the adoption process. I am excited to read your posts this montha and hope that there is another sweet baby ready to come to you guys soon!!
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