Positive Adoption Language

Today I thought I would post some of the terms associated with adoption. There are some words or terms that many people find offensive. Sometimes people just use certain terms because they grew up hearing them or don't know a better term or phrase. Here are a few to keep in mind.

POSITIVE LANGUAGE - NEGATIVE LANGUAGE
Birthparent - Real parent, natural parent
Biological parent - Natural parent
Parent - Adoptive parent
Birthchild - Own child
My child - My adopted child, my own child

Child from abroad - Foreign child
Was adopted - Is adopted
Make an adoption plan, choose adoption - Give up, give away, surrender

To parent - To keep
Born to unmarried parents - Illegitimate

A few other good things to avoid saying:

-When your child is misbehaving - "I'm going to give you up for adoption." or " I'm going to give you away."

I hope my children never believe that they were placed in our family because they were naughty. It's amazing how often I hear those kinds of phrases - especially at the grocery store. A few months ago I heard a lady tell her kid she ought to give him away about 4 times. It was all I could do to not say to her, "We pay a small fortune for our kids, if you are giving him away I'll take him!" I didn't say it. I've been frustrated with my kids behavior in the store before too, just never said something like that.

I think it is really important to talk openly about adoption and share our positive experiences. There are a lot of negative stereotypes out there and most of them are fueled by made up or embellished stories that get turned into TV shows and movies. I saw on TV last night that there is a new TV series coming out that shows reunions between children and their birth parents. I hope it will be a positive show. You never know what a tv producer might think will get the ratings. I didn't catch the name of it but there is a sneak peak on Monday night. Should be interesting.